


My Home Under The Bridge

by Puppy_Brat



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Homeless, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Birthday Smut, Bittersweet Ending, Christmas, Christmas Smut, Depression, Drunkenness, Eventual Smut, German-Speaking Eren Yeager, German-Speaking Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Homeless Eren Yeager, Homeless Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Homelessness, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Levi Smokes (Shingeki no Kyojin), Levi's Birthday (Shingeki no Kyojin), Loss of Virginity, M/M, Making Love, Making Out, Masturbation, Minor Jean Kirstein/Eren Yeager, Nonbinary Hange Zoë, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Relationship(s), Prostitution, References to Depression, Religious Guilt, Running Away, Slow Build, Specifically Religious, Suicide Attempt, Switch Eren Yeager, Switch Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Tags Contain Spoilers, Trauma, Vanilla, Virgin Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:54:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 21,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28165818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Puppy_Brat/pseuds/Puppy_Brat
Summary: “Whatcha doin’ on that side of the fence? Drop ya glove?”Okay, so nobody he knew. Most definitely some druggie.“No. I didn’t. Even if I did, I am perfectly capable of retrieving it myself, so move along. Go on, get the fuck out of here!”Taken aback by such hostility, the stranger furrowed his brows in confusion, taking a minute to understand what he had stumbled upon.Literally.“Oooh. I see, now. You’re trying to kill yourself!”Scowling, Levi clenched his jaw. Damn this kid. Who the hell did he think he was?Finding himself standing on the wrong side of a fence, about to end it all, Levi's plans are quickly thrown out when a man just as lost, and as crazy as he himself is decides to join him there.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41
Collections: 18+ Ereri Discord Server Winter Exchange 2020





	1. Told To Believe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aboywithboobs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aboywithboobs/gifts).



> This is a Secret Santa Gift for Len, a member of a Discord group I am a part of. I'd like to thank the moderators: Kris, Andy, Krissie, and Finn for putting this on. 
> 
> It was very stressful, but also very enjoyable. I am glad to be able to say that I was a part of it. 
> 
> I would also like to thank my friend (bug) [ @levievillive](https://www.instagram.com/levievillive/) for helping me with the translations, as well as my wonderful sister for being my Beta. (Well, 1/4 since this was practically a one-man show as it normally is when it comes to editing.)
> 
> I apologize in advance if it's not something you had in mind/were expecting. I hope you enjoy your gift nonetheless! For anyone else reading this, my giftee asked for no Season 3 spoilers or above, so please be patient with us and keep spoilers in the comments little to none. 
> 
> Also, be sure to read the tags carefully (but not too carefully bc spoilers) for any possible TW's. The rest of the chapters will be uploaded very shortly as they are already written, just currently in the process of being edited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This art really reminded me of this chapter of my Fic, so I decided to [link](https://longnoodlesss.tumblr.com/post/639801893954142208) it! Please support the artist if you are able to!

_**November 25th.** _

The night air was cold on Levi’s face, dusting his cheeks a rosy pink that was bound to leave them wind burnt, the early winter zephyr tousling his hair as his shoes scuffed over large cracks on the pavement he walked down. 

Not typically one for late-night strolls, the area in which he resides rather dangerous after ten thirty, Levi was outside for an entirely different reason other than breaking into parked cars, meeting up with buddies to challenge a rival gang over whose territory belonged to whom, nor stumbling home drunk after having had too many shots down at the bar.

Instead, Levi found himself wandering towards the opposite end of the city with a grim look on his face.

Entering into the ‘wealthier' side of town, having spent half an hour traipsing about to even _begin_ seeing the change in quality surrounding him, the raven reached into his back pocket where he pulled out his spare pack of cigarettes, it just so happening to possibly be his very last.

Plucking the small black lighter out from between the smokes, Levi lowered his dark grey scarf using his index finger, a small wisp of visible breath escaping from out of his thin lips as he placed the cigarette between them.

Lighting the smoke a few seconds later, the lighter having taken a couple of tries to ignite, Levi stuffed it, and the pack, back into his hind pocket with a low growl of annoyance.

“Who would’ve thought there’d be this much snow in November,” he muttered to himself, exhaling the cancer which danced in the sky before dissipating into the snowflakes that had started to fall around him. “...Ridiculous.”

Continuing on his way, meandering up and over one of the city’s largest bridges, pausing in the middle of it just in time to stub out his cigarette on the concrete barrier, Levi found himself dropping it into the fresh snow at his feet, stomping it into the ground for good measure. 

Grinding the butt into the nearly flawless walking path by using the front ball of his foot, the last of the embers fizzling out, Levi lifted his head, narrow eyes peering down at the frozen water below through the large fence that was mainly there to prevent idiots like himself from taking a dive off of said bridge.

Beginning to shrug himself out of his black, double-breasted coat, shedding the thicker layers so that when he hit, he’d hit hard, Levi draped his jacket over the thick barrier that separated the road from the sidewalk.

The _last_ thing that he wanted to do was fail and become paralyzed from the waist down, or worse, which was why he was stripping now.

He was well aware of the fact that failing had happened to other people before him when attempting to take their own life, something he was just about to do himself. Either they had landed incorrectly which resulted in a massive number of broken bones, the bridge wasn’t high enough, or they weren’t as smart as he was and had chosen to go through with it in the summer.

Perhaps all three of those reasons.

Maybe more. 

Unlike any of those damned souls before him, Levi was smart. The river was frozen over already, a blizzard having hit them hard earlier that week with record-breaking temperatures to match, coating the city in a blanket of chilly white.

It had definitely been enough to have already caused major accidents on the city’s crowded highways; not to mention, many folks ended up late for work, having to dig themselves and their vehicles out of their homes.

Even those who had checked the forecast the previous evening were dumbfounded by the massive amount of snow that greeted them in the morning.

That meant that hitting the frozen river below him from this height would be like hitting straight concrete after jumping from a 40-storey high skyscraper, evidently ending his life right then and there without the immediate risk of accidentally bringing anyone else along with him.

It was ingenious if he had to say so himself since he didn’t own a gun and knew for a fact from his teenage years that pills didn’t exactly work as some of the more mainstream movies had fibbed.

They still killed, of course, it was just a lot rarer that they were actually successful in doing so.

Besides, it would be a lot less painful this way, as long as he managed to land right. Far less painful than the notice he’d received earlier in the mail that day had been.

Unravelling his scarf from around his neck next, Levi threaded it through the fence, tying the end of it there for anyone who happened to walk past to discover after he parted ways with the world. Hell, he _hoped_ that someone would take it!

At least then it would go to a good use rather than sit there flapping on the side of the road like some sorry excuse for a flag.

It wasn’t a cheap type of fabric, unlike his other articles of clothing were.

One of his two best friends, a tall blonde man by the name of Erwin Smith, had bought it as a birthday present for him last year from an expensive boutique. It had been the last thing ever gifted to him before his dear friend was buried in rubble from his office building collapsing in on itself.

He had found out from a local news station on the day of the incident. The tragedy was large enough to have made headlines all over the place by the time he’d driven to the hospital where the few survivors had been taken to.

He later died there.

Thankfully Levi had managed to make it there just in time to be able to properly send him off by his side. He almost didn’t care that he had to fight his way into the room as doctors and nurses tried their very best to hold him back in order for the raven to even do so.

He wasn’t technically considered family, after all, even if Erwin’s own folks had died long ago just as his own had.

The scarf was still as thick, warm, and soft as the day he had unwrapped it. He always made sure to treasure his belongings. All of his gifts were kept in near perfect condition. He would miss the thing immensely if it weren’t for the fact that he was about to end his own life a month before his thirty-fourth birthday. 

_God,_ he was so old.

Readjusting the black leather gloves on his hands, full-body shivering as the wind blew straight through the thin fabric of his long-sleeved, absinthe-coloured shirt, as well as through the holes of his stylishly ripped black jeans, Levi began to climb the chain-link fence.

The height of the fence was just tall enough to crack your head open on the pavement below if you were to fall, but still climbable if you were as stupid, desperate, and persistent as he was.

Swinging a leg over the top once he had reached it, careful not to snag his clothes on the sharp edges of the cut metal, Levi began his slow descent downwards, the fence shaking even worse than when he had first climbed up.

_“Woah…”_

Steadying himself, Levi cursed under his breath, arms starting to tingle as the wind picked up, snowflakes swirling all around him the longer he remained in one place. He was genuinely surprised that they hadn’t thought to put barbed wire across the top of this fence, as they had installed it on practically every other one attached to the side of a large bridge in the city.

His guess was that they thought it would ruin the middle-class area's aesthetic.

Climbing the rest of the way down, back to the relative safety of the small concrete ledge, Levi slowly turned around, hands shaking not only from the cold but also from the fear that engulfed his mind.

 _Was he really about to go through with this?_

What would his former, unofficially adopted sister, Isabel think of him? Or his longtime companion, (who had also been his secret crush) Farlan? Sure, the pair had long since died in a freak accident, but they were looking down on him now, weren’t they?

If only the people whom he considered his family were there to stop him. To tug him back over the side no matter what strength it’d take. He wished they could hold him close, or whisper in his ear that everything was going to be alright.

_Why couldn’t he have been the one driving that night? Why did he have to decline when things could've turned out differently if he hadn't?_

If only they were still alive on this earth to tell him- _“Hey!_ What are you doing over there?!”

Eyes widening in surprise, Levi whipped his head around only to see a dark figure pressed up against the fence, hood obscuring their face so that he couldn’t even tell if it was somebody he knew.

Was he going crazy? Was someone actually there this late at night? _Especially_ when a storm was brewing?

A crackhead, then? There were crackheads even in nicer areas, right?

“Whatcha doin’ on that side of the fence? Drop ya glove?”

Okay, so nobody he knew. Most definitely some druggie.

“No. I didn’t. Even if I did, I am perfectly capable of retrieving it myself, so move along. Go on, get the fuck out of here!”

Taken aback by such hostility, the stranger furrowed his brows in confusion, taking a minute to understand what he had stumbled upon.

_Literally._

“Oooh. I see, now. You’re trying to kill yourself!”

Scowling, Levi clenched his jaw. Damn this kid. Who the hell did he think he was?

“Fuck off,” he replied, teeth chattering, the need for his heat to be regulated again bordering on urgent.

**“Proverbs 24:11 Deliver those who are being taken away to death, And those who are staggering to slaughter, Oh hold them back.”**

“Well,” the brunet smiled, his hood having fallen down on a particularly large gust of wind, showing off his own flushed face while also wafting the strong scent of alcohol in Levi’s immediate direction. “If you’re gonna jump, then I’m comin’ with ya.”

 _“What?!_ No! You can’t be serious-”

Gripping the cold metal, the strange man started on his way up, the fence shaking worse than when Levi had climbed it due to the extra wobbliness that came with intoxication. 

Successfully making it over the top, Levi having had a mini heart attack as he did so, the raven gaped at the stranger when he landed beside him, the drunk bastard grinning back at him as if he had just won the lottery or something.

“So… On three?”

_“You’re insane! You’re absolutely insane! What kind of drugs are you on, huh? Cocaine? Heroin? Meth? Meth makes you act like a lunatic, yeah?”_

There must've been more in this man’s system than just alcohol. There was just absolutely no way that a normal human being with common sense would willingly join him on the other side of the fence where a large drop was not even a step away.

Drugs were the only other logical explanation besides stupidity to him, and this man definitely didn't seem on the slower side if he had already made it this far in life by himself.

“Huh? No. No drugs… Although, I know a dealer if you’re interested?”

“What kind of sick test is this? I don’t even believe in God, but if this is his way of showing me that he’s real, _shit_ , I might as well grab a Bible and call myself a priest!” Levi stammered incredulously.

A burst of laughter suddenly filling the small space between them, the sound so carefree and genuine that it hurt Levi inside to hear, having never been able to produce such a sound himself in all the years that he had been alive, the stranger let go of the rather flimsy fence with one hand just so that he could brush his long brown locks out of his face.

Of course, all the strands did was flutter directly back into his eyes as Levi was given yet another heart attack that dreadful night. 

_“Oi, oi, oi!_ Wait, wait. You’re drunk. Don’t do that. Just... Just please hold on with both hands. I won’t jump if you promise to hang on, alright? _Christ.”_

“I thought you were a priest,” the other male jested, reaching behind himself to grab hold of the fence once more, letting out yet another laugh, though this one much smaller than the previous one had been. “If you wanna be a priest, then that means that ya can’t take the Lord’s name in vain.”

Rolling his eyes at that, Levi was just glad that the drunkard had listened to him, the thought of the younger male accidentally falling to his death enough to chill him to the bone more than the rest of the winter ahead of them ever could.

“Right. So if I am going to be a priest, my first request is that you seek help, okay? Find God, or whatever. Carefully, and _I stress_ the word carefully, climb back over that fence. Alright? I will follow directly behind you after you reach the other side.”

_“Promise?”_

Scrunching his face up in a strange attempt at a pout, the shadows from the street lamps making it look a hell of a lot funnier than it probably should have, Eren held his hand out towards the raven, a pinky finger stuck straight up, giving a small wiggle when all Levi did was stare at it.

It possibly would’ve been cute if they both weren’t currently one misstep away from the afterlife. 

“I-I told you to hold on!”

“Only if you _swear_ that you will!”

 _“I swear!_ I swear I will, dammit!”

Stretching out his own arm, Levi struggled to catch the finger, the large drop making him a lot dizzier the longer he stood there on the edge, his fear of heights continuing to mess with his head.

Capturing it as the stranger swayed a bit too far over the ledge, still incredibly unbalanced from all the drinks he had supposedly consumed earlier that evening, the raven was able to slide his hand down just in time to grab hold of the inside of his wrist.

In one swift movement, Levi found himself tugging the brunet back up against his own body with a grunt, struggling to hang on himself as his fingers were practically as white as the snow by now, even from the inside of his gloves.

It appeared that he was running on pure adrenaline by this point, and it was a _damn good_ thing, too. 

Panting as the stranger held onto Levi by his shoulders, having had just enough momentum to keep him from going straight down without any pause, (which was an absolute miracle in and of itself) Levi’s arms shook as they both stood there, chests pressed closely together.

Feeling a deep ache in his muscles beginning to set in, the added weight from his unexpected guest not helping his case, the raven cursed his entire existence a second time.

“P-Please climb the damn fence already. I won’t jump. You and the universe have made that clear enough.”

“Yeah,” the stranger gulped, reaching above Levi's head to start climbing. “Yeah, sorry, I will. Hold still.”

Finding his footing beside the raven's lithe form through the tiny diamond-shaped holes, the brunet used more upper body strength than not to pull himself upwards, the terrifyingly puny ledge they stood on so small that half of his foot had hung off over the edge of it.

Even the toe of Levi’s shoes were not immune, and from what he could tell, the male had rather small feet, so that was saying something.

“Get your crotch out of my face!” Levi grouched as the drunk hovered there for a quick breather, stepping on Levi’s shoulder next, the zipper from his dark wash jeans scraping past the tip of his nose. 

_The bastard probably already forgot just where exactly they were at the moment._

Closing his eyes when the man had made it past his head, Levi focused hard on his breathing, chest rising and falling steadily, the sound of sirens far off in the distance aiding in somewhat grounding him. 

They served as a reminder that help was still available if he truly wished to seek it, as well as who he was.

Just as he was about to convince himself to go to the hospital after he made his way back over to the safety that was the sidewalk, he was rudely reminded that he wasn’t alone by the sound of a thud behind him, followed by a low groan which quickly turned into a giggle-fest.

_God help him, truly…_

“My turn,” he whispered to himself, letting out a shaky sigh as he carefully turned his body around so that he didn’t have to go up the thing backwards like a deranged spider. 

Watching the other male from his place on the ground where he still lay flat on his back, Eren groggily smiled up at the person whom he had saved when the other had successfully landed back on the other side of the structure.

Looking more unimpressed the longer Levi stood on the side of the road peering down at the stranger than relieved at the fact that his guts weren’t currently splattered all across the frozen river, the dark-haired male crossed his arms over his chest, tapping his foot as he waited on Eren to properly acknowledge his existence.

It was interesting to think that someone might not have been around anymore if he hadn't heard the sound of the fence rattling unnaturally, disturbing him from sipping on a bottle of whiskey in his small tent tucked carefully under the bridge.

 _“What?_ Are you still too drunk to even stand? You’ve made it this far already, haven’t you? I think it’s about time you and I part ways. Go home.”

Shaking his head as he sat up, pale green eyes following Levi’s movements as the shorter male threw his jacket back on, Eren remained put on the ground, hugging his knees close to his chest, unbothered by the fact that his ass was presently getting soaked.

Continuing to follow him using only his eyes, freezing when Levi’s own steely grey locked onto his entirely, the brunet licked his lips, flicking his gaze back down to the snowy walkway as Levi finished untying the knot he had created in the scarf.

Draping it over his shoulders and around his neck as Levi continued to wait on an answer from the other, or at the very least some form of movement from his inebriated saviour, he almost decided to give up when Eren finally cracked.

“I don’t…” Scratching the back of his head shyly, the brunet finally rose to his feet, brushing off snow clumps that clung to his pants.

Far too nervous to even meet his gaze now that he was about to confess something rather personal to this perfect stranger, Eren dropped his hand back down to his side with a thump.

“I don’t exactly, uh, have one. I live here… Under the bridge. I’m homeless.” 

“Oh.”

Standing in awkward silence, swaying from side to side in order to keep himself warm, Eren's toque, and pathetic excuse of a dark green rain jacket layered on top of a pink hoodie doing next to nothing for him, Levi was the first to break it with a small _‘Tch.’_ The sound was one of obvious annoyance and most definite disapproval.

“I should have just jumped when I had the chance… Alright, follow me.”

“Where are we going?” he slurred, head still spinning from having gotten up so quickly.

Jogging to catch up to the rather speedy male who had already started to walk back the way he had come from, Eren managed to cut in front of him, the man nearly bumping into him from the sudden stop, almost slipping on the slushy sidewalk as he did so.

 _“Wait!_ Can you please wait here a minute?” 

_“What now?”_

“My bag!” Gesturing over his shoulder with his thumb, extremely worried about something that Levi didn’t quite understand, Eren kept his thumb pointed backwards, not even in the correct direction of where the bridge was. “If I’m going to go with you, then I’m going to need my bag. It has all of my belongings in it.”

Pretty much everything he owned was in his small tent. He hoped beyond all hopes that nobody would be bold enough to break in and steal his air mattress, portable heater, or small battery operated lamps that he kept inside for moving around at night. 

Not to mention the entire tent itself.

Unfortunately, he had every right being as nervous as he was since a close acquaintance of his, an old man by the name of Dot Pixis who was also a homeless alcoholic, and more often than not his supplier for booze, had that very same thing happen to him only a few months prior. 

“Be right back! Don’t leave! Or, erm, jump. _Just-”_

Holding both hands out in front of him as if some invisible force would keep Levi glued in place, the long-haired beauty stumbled his way down the steep ditch that led to a small, unofficial but well-used pathway, most likely made by many homeless humans years before he had even set up his own camp in that spot. 

After around five minutes of furiously rubbing his hands over the upper part of his arms, wondering if the stranger had either fallen in and drowned somehow, or simply passed out somewhere under there in a thorny bush, Levi physically relaxed when he saw the top of a head travelling back up the trail that thankfully belonged to him, the tension that had once been in his shoulders vanishing just the tiniest bit knowing that he was at least still safe.

Odd as it was to care for someone whose name he didn’t even know yet, he wasn’t that heartless; his abrasive personality being nothing more than a wall he built up over the years to protect himself. In fact, he had almost been in this man's exact position at one point in his life if it hadn't been for his Uncle Kenny taking his sorry ass in as an early teenage drop out when his mother had fallen ill, raising him as if he were his own son.

That man had been able to place him just high enough above the poverty line to get by where he had somewhat of a promise at a good life, and hopefully of an even better future as long as he continued to work hard for it.

Not wanting to dwell on his past, much rather preferring to leave it as it was: _The past_ , Levi helped him by grabbing the heavy looking duffel bag that he was carrying, the backpack the brunet also sported appearing to be rather full as well.

“Thanks,” Eren smiled crookedly, happy to no longer be weighed down as much.

Having shot an arrow directly through Levi’s delicate heart as he was able to get an actual, _real_ good look at the man, he quickly found himself clearing his throat.

“This way…” Levi indicated with a jerk of his head, readjusting the duffel bag so that it was easier to hold, hiding the fact that he had developed an instant crush on the handsome male in the short span of time they had both known each other.

If saving him wasn’t already enough to seal the deal, then this certainly solidified his chances of ever getting a date if he were to ever ask him out, Levi being an absolute sucker for gorgeous smiles on an even more ridiculously gorgeous man. 

Dirty as he was from living in such terrible conditions, Levi was still able to tell that he was beautiful, even if he were merely talking about his soul.

That too was most likely beautiful if his actions were testament to anything. 

Although it was highly unlikely that he would ever be asked out- the stranger being a homeless, drunken bum and all -an older man could only dream, even if in the end it turned into nothing more than fap material.

* * *

**● ● ●**

* * *

“Sooo… I think the bus should be here any minute now.”

Grunting in response, Levi watched as the man swayed back and forth in the transit shelter, attempting to stay upright, his eyes still a little glassy as Levi could’ve _sworn_ he had seen him swig from a flask while they were walking to the nearest stop, the stranger having claimed earlier that he had a bus pass on his person.

While it would technically be less tiring than walking all the way back to his place would, the raven didn’t necessarily enjoy hopping on public transportation at nearly one-thirty in the morning. Especially since they could have almost been at his apartment by now if they'd walked as Levi had wanted, frigid weather be damned.

Some of the reasons why Levi wished to avoid getting on a bus was that first of all, it was filthy, and second, this was typically when all of the druggies came out to play even if the upkept area you were travelling in gave you a false sense of security.

“You said that twenty minutes ago… I swear to fuck if I get stabbed,” Levi grumbled as he placed yet another stress cigarette between his lips to light it, blocking the chilly wind with his palm as Eren not so discretely unscrewed the top of his flask, turning his body only halfway to down the liquid, wiping his mouth off afterwards using the sleeve of his torn jacket.

_‘I knew it.’_

Taking his first drag of the previously un-smoked cigarette, Levi was somewhat annoyed at his timing as lights from an approaching bus lit up the small weather shelter.

Stubbing the thing out using the bottom of his shoe, the raven discarded it in the overfilled butt container that sat in the corner pressed up against the thick glass. There was absolutely _no way_ that he was going to smoke it after where it had just been snuffed out. He knew for a _fact_ that other people urinated in places like these simply because it was the perfect place to do so; the shelter obscuring the view of passing traffic better than a bush ever would, specifically since half of the time the windows on them were only cleaned once a year at most, making them look more like a beige wall than a glass panel. 

At least finding a full cigarette in there would make some other random freak’s day. It certainly was a good thing he was clean of any STD's or other possibly contagious diseases.

Boarding bus **104** , Eren was the first to tap his card, the poor soul having to try three times before he had finally gotten it to work. The bus driver was incredibly patient with him, most likely far too used to this kind of behaviour judging by the fact that he had remained silent instead of yelling at the brunet to hurry the hell up as he wanted to end his shift on time.

Now Levi’s turn to pay the fare, the raven frowned as he patted his pockets in search of his wallet, finding only his ID on him.

 _Shit!_ Did he leave it at the apartment?

“It’s alright, don’t worry about it,” The older driver told him, noticing his obvious struggle as the raven had also begun to frantically check the ones inside of his coat as well. “Just go ahead and sit down.”

“Thanks…”

Finding Eren at the very back of the bus hunched over in the window seat with his head resting in his hands, backpack placed partially on his lap between muscular thighs, Levi made his way over to him, keeping his gaze fixed on the male as his hands automatically clenched into fists.

Passing by many extremely sketchy looking individuals whose eyes almost seemed to bore into the duffel bag he held close to his chest, Levi found himself plopping down beside Eren, not wanting to be seated anywhere near the other occupants, the man sat on the end of the same row of four as them tweaking like crazy already an immediate cause for concern. 

Keeping him in his peripherals as he felt a sudden pressure on the side of his bicep, Levi turned his head to ask just what on earth the brunet was doing, only to close his mouth, his expression changing to one that was of fondness, finding that the idiot had already fallen asleep.

On his arm, no less.

Allowing him to doze as he spent the rest of the ride keeping an eye out for any possible threatening activity, making it through stop after stop, the shorter male at long last pulled the yellow cord that indicated that he wanted to exit the bus.

“Hey… This is our stop. C’mon, you have to get up now.”

Running slender fingers through Eren’s long but tangled hair, Levi cringed as he realized how greasy it was by how it had left a glossy shine on his black leather gloves, a mistake that would haunt him until he got the other male under some warm water with extra soap.

Letting Eren use him as a sorry excuse of a brace, the pair eventually made it up the four cracked steps at the front door, past the obstacle that was inserting the building’s PIN while also making sure that he opened the door on time, into an elevator that for some reason or another reeked of damp carpet, down a short hallway, and nearly toppling to the floor as Levi struggled to hold Eren up, as well as turn the key in the lock to his door at the same time.

Entering the apartment rather unceremoniously, the couple toed off their shoes on the mat, Eren still thankfully retaining some of his manners even in such a sorry state.

Setting the duffel bag down beside the couch to his left, Levi wiped invisible sweat off of his forehead, sighing heavily as he watched Eren struggle with sliding the straps of his backpack off of his shoulders to join Levi's beside the sofa, that action a lot harder to manage when you were basically seeing double of everything.

“First thing’s first. You are not going to sleep looking as you are now. I don’t care if you can barely keep yourself upright, you’re going to bathe. I’ll even help you do so if I must.”

Letting out a tired hum, not having the energy to fight him on that, grateful to even have a toasty place to crash at for the remainder of the night, Eren followed Levi into the bathroom after having discarded his coat on the back of a chair that they had passed by.

Rubbing his tired eyes when Levi flicked on the bright fluorescent light, half blinding his already less than awake self, the brunet took in the sight of the squishy, but tidy room. The light green paint of the walls mixed with the white of the cupboard and sink did an amazing job at opening the place up.

Allowing the rather grumpy male to lecture him on how exactly one should wash his or her ass while also demonstrating at the same time how the shower head/taps worked, what not to touch, followed by which towel went where on his body, Eren began to undress, leaving said grumpy male slightly flustered as he tried to pick up what the brunet had discarded without actually _looking_ at him.

Exiting the washroom when he had gathered every article shed, shaking his head back and forth from the copious amount of secondhand embarrassment he had just received from seeing Eren bent over, buck ass naked to slip his dirty socks off of his feet, Levi closed the door behind himself, wanting to simply get this dreadful night over and done with already.

The last thing he needed to see was the stranger's wrinkly ballsack dangling too close for comfort by his nose.

 _‘Why me?’_ He thought to himself as he grabbed both of the male's bags, dragging them into the tiny laundry room that he was lucky enough to own where they joined the rest of his clothing that were already folded atop the washing machine.

Not trusting the communal washers down on the main floor one bit, Levi had specifically gone out of his way to get the old owner's suit, glad that he did even if he didn't need the extra living space that came with owning a larger apartment.

Beginning to sort through all of his shirts, the stranger’s multiple pairs of pants almost the same dark colour as one another, ultimately saving him some time on the task of separating them, Levi was able to have one load already in and running at the same time he heard the sound of the shower being shut off.

“...Right. He’s going to need some different clothes, isn’t he...”

Making his way down the abbreviated hallway that ended with the door to his room, seeking out something that would fit the stranger, knowing damn well that he still had some of his deceased best friend’s clothes hidden away in his closet from when the small group of closely-knitted friends had last crashed over at his place for a New Year’s party that had almost ended before it had even begun due to how drunk everyone already was when they’d all arrived, Levi grimaced at the painful memory, swinging open his closet door with more force than necessary.

_What was it about himself that attracted all of the problematic weirdos who couldn’t hold, nor monitor their liquor intake to him?_

“Come on… I know you stored your extra clothing here, Shitwin. Even from the grave, you still manage to piss me off somehow.” A bittersweet smile crossing his features that had disappeared as quickly as it had come, the raven continued in his search. “Just where the hell did you put them... _Ah-ha!"_ Removing a semi dusty plastic bag from the top shelf of the closet, having missed it when he was going through what was hung up, his short stature of 5’3” not helping any, Levi opened it with a soft expression as the sight of them brought back strong emotions he'd once thought to be buried.

Extending both of his arms out in front of himself to check the length of the pants before the shirt since the male looked around 6’0” tall, Erwin having been a ginormous mass of muscle who once stood at the incredible height of 6’2”, Levi gave a silent nod of approval, the large shirt slung over his shoulder for now.

It was a good thing that the old owner of those sweatpants had been around the same size as his guest or else they would have had a serious problem on their hands.

Not bothering with things such as socks or underwear, already well aware that they would be much too snug on him even if he forced his flat ass or huge feet into them, Levi raised his hand to rap his knuckles against the back of the door.

“Just a second!”

“I brought you a pair of clean clothes!" Levi shouted to him from outside the door as to not intrude. "Or at least I _think_ they’re clean,” he mumbled to himself, lifting the fabric up to his nose for the stereotypical sniff test. “Yep, they’re clean.”

Raising his head when the door had swung open, revealing the stranger who no longer looked as though he had crawled out from deep within a dumpster, the raven gawked at him, causing Eren to shift nervously as the shorter male continued to stare.

“W-What is it? Do I still have some soap in my hair? I thought I had gotten it all...”

 _“No!”_ Levi defended himself as he handed off the articles to Eren, shamelessly raking his eyes over his body as he did so. “I mean, no, you got it all. It’s just that… Your facial hair is a little...”

 _Son of a bitch, he had fantastic abs!_ Not to mention the way his towel sat low on his lean form, showing off his prominent hip bones, as well as that lovely v-line of his. Even the light pink of the towel complimented him by blending with the colour of his wonderful sun-kissed, golden skin.

That was the ultimate cherry on top. 

“Scruffy? Yeah, I lost my razor about a month back and just haven’t gotten around to buying a new one. I don’t mess with the disposables as a guy who is constantly threatened by infections, or diseases, y’know? Too much of a risk if I accidentally give myself an ingrown hair, or cut myself.”

“I see… That makes sense. Very smart of you. It’s a good thing I have an extra one still in its packaging then, isn’t it? Go sit down on the toilet seat after you get dressed. I’ll help you shave since the brand I bought is a little tricky. Found that out the hard way when I first used it. Came pretty close to losing my entire chin.”

_“...Haha.”_

* * *

**● ● ●**

* * *

As Levi shaved the stranger's face, being careful around the surprisingly sharp edges of his jawline, he found out all sorts of information about the brunet as they made small talk that slowly grew into something deeper.

He learned that his name was Eren Kruger Jaeger. 

That he had just turned twenty-four that March, making them ten years, three months, and five days apart. 

Eren told him all about his life from the moment they had both exchanged their names and ages with each other, breaking that final, but crucial barrier that divided the two from being strangers to a pair paving the road ahead for a proper friendship to blossom between them.

Levi was told all sorts of important details after that. Things such as the name of the place in which he was born and raised, facts about his childhood friends and what they were up to now, including how they had all met. 

The stranger- _Eren_ , also told him of his mother’s passing, explaining that she had been murdered when he was only the young age of ten.

He ranted about why he had dropped out of high school in the first place, how he was unable to hold down a decent job because of that fact, and what had triggered the beginning of his alcoholism.

Lastly, he decided to inform Levi of the _true_ reason behind why he, at such an abnormal age, was living on the streets, spending his days sleeping under a bridge.

“My father was a very conservative man. As the town’s esteemed doctor with an image to uphold, he always dragged my adopted sister and I to church. My mother often stayed home to take care of the chores, as well as tend to her garden from what I can remember from back then. It’s been so long…”

Having a distant look to his gaze, brilliant green orbs no longer so clouded from the booze he'd been drinking, making them seem more vibrant in the artificial light, Eren looked as though he were able to see something that Levi couldn’t. Even his voice continuously grew softer the longer he was able to sober up.

It was that of a smooth tenor.

He probably sounded heavenly if he were to sing judging by the way said voice deepened whenever he had hummed in thought during their conversation. 

“Anyways, after my mother passed, Mikasa, the girl with the black hair I told you about earlier who sorta looks like you? My sister? Well, we began attending even more frequently than just the usual Sunday service, or the casual lingering that lasted a little longer than normal as we helped to stack the chairs for them so that they could vacuum.”

Swallowing thickly, Eren’s eyes flickered as he racked his brain, the memories borderline painful as he went through them all one by one.

“It started off slowly, in the beginning. After her funeral, we began to attend activities that we hadn't before. Things such as going to the local youth group, helping out at potlucks whenever our church held one, until it eventually turned into us both being baptized at the age of twelve, pretty much without our consent. What could we both do, though, say no? As if…”

Furrowing his brows, already having an idea of where Eren was going with this, the raven nodded his head slowly, encouraging the other male to continue telling his story.

As stupid as it sounded, that simple action gave Eren a surge of confidence, knowing that someone was actually _listening_ to him for once in his life rather than taking the cowards way out by calling him dramatic, telling him to grow up, or his personal favourite being the classic _‘just get over it already.’_

How was one supposed to get over something that had been buried so deep within themselves that it was relatively impossible to find a way to casually bring it up in conversation? Or so that it could _actually_ be spoken about in a healthy manner or environment in the first place?

His emotions had already been deemed inappropriate by others he had tried to connect with, so now that he had a person willing to hear what troubled him, he wasn’t going to pass up such a wonderful opportunity.

Therapists were a hell of a lot of money that he definitely didn’t have, anyway. _Plus_ most of them were full of shit, only thinking about their next paycheck, or getting to gossip with co-workers about their most recent client, all while doing next to nothing for them.

He wasn’t about to take some asshole’s bait, already well aware of how those places functioned due to being treated for anger issues early on as a child.

Fortunately, not all were like that. Apparently, it was just his own experiences with them that had ruined it for the rest of them when it came to treating him.

“While he wasn’t a bad man, per se, he was extremely homophobic. Obviously, I didn’t understand what that word meant at the time. I suppose it didn’t much matter to me, all of those big words. That adult talk…”

Licking chapped lips as Levi continued to hold his face still, the shorter male able to feel the way Eren had begun to tremble slightly, watching his expression closely as it changed from one that was thoughtful, to one of mild fear, the raven released Eren's head just as the other tried his best to will away the tears pooling in the corners of his eyes.

Setting the razor down on the ledge of the sink as an audible clearing of a throat next to him was heard, having been done so in a way that indicated to Levi that his guest was feeling uneasy, the older male immediately set both of his hands back into his lap, politely keeping them there in place to show that he was still actively listening to the youth.

“I had a friend from Bible Study," he spoke in a hushed tone, making the water dripping from the faucet almost seem louder than he himself was. "Jean Kirschtein was his name. I hated that bastard.”

Chuckling, Eren closed his eyes tightly, pushing out a stray tear that made its way down his freshly shaved cheek, travelling through the few spuds that still clung to his smooth skin, coming to a stop at the sharpest point of his chin where it dangled for a second before crashing to the floor.

"We constantly fought for seemingly no apparent reason, no matter what happened between us in a day. So whether or not we had both shared a snack together earlier didn't matter because it only took one wrong look until we were both back at each other's throats again. You have _no idea_ how many times we got kicked out of the group for just arguing alone."

Swiping another fresh droplet that had dribbled its way down Eren's cheek away using the pad of his thumb, Levi allowed himself to snort, the thought of some middle-aged, heavyset woman quibbling with the duo, declaring that they both smarten up while also trying her best to recite a Bible passage by memory amusing to him.

 **“** **1 Peter 2:1-3 So get rid of every kind of evil, every kind of deception, hypocrisy, jealousy, and every kind of slander. Desire God’s pure word as newborn babies desire milk. Then you will grow in your salvation. Certainly, you have tasted that the Lord is good!”**

“Well, what happened afterwards?” Levi smirked as Eren met his iridium gaze, glad to see that the male was starting to relax again after having recalled a distant memory of his youth. Whatever random wave of strong emotions that had hit him just moments before was sated for now. “You said he was your friend, correct? Surely you liked each other enough to have given him that title.”

 _“Tolerated,”_ the brunet corrected, shooting Levi a second crooked smile that night which in turn caused the raven to become extremely flustered for an entirely different reason than before, his cheeks dusting a light pink that had nothing to do with the chilly wind this time, nor the embarrassment. “I _tolerated_ his existence.”

Levi’s lips curving the slightest bit upwards in his own version of a smile, the feeling of it close to being a foreign one judging by how little he actually did so, he came to realize that Eren’s imperfect grin had to be his favourite part about his handsome saviour. 

In fact, Levi was starting to adore the previously smelly brat’s presence the more time they spent in each other's company, even if it were to be as simple as occupying the same space together.

To think that this was the very same brat who had entered his life like a tsunami, having shown up without much warning, only to then brutally hit him with the fact that he was slowly, but surely, stealing his heart without much difficulty at all.

Even though what he was feeling now was not only weird after so many years, but also rare, he decided that it might as well be a welcome one considering how much of a natural introvert he already was.

Apparently, sometimes all it takes in order for you to get out of your comfort zone is a suicide attempt. Highly discouraged, but strangely, it appears to have been exactly what Levi was in need of the most that night.

“My bad.”

Teensy smile widening as he playfully reached up to ruffle Eren’s damp hair, wiping the rest of the leftover shaving cream that had been on his face off by using a warm cloth, the raven crossed both of his arms over his chest as he leaned back on the corner of the door frame, used cloth still in hand.

“You managed to tolerate him. _Is that better?”_

“Much.”

* * *

**● ● ●**

* * *

Relocating into the living room, the washroom not a suitable place for a conversation such as this, Levi handed Eren a cup of hot chocolate that he kindly accepted after being offered the drink a few minutes prior. To his absolute delight, it just so happened to be the good kind that was made out of ¾ milk, with tiny, crunchy marshmallows floating underneath a small mountain of whipped cream that had chocolate syrup and caramel drizzled over the top of it like some fancy café.

“Thanks!” 

“Not a problem.”

“It looks delicious!”

“Mmhmm…”

Not entirely a fan of sweets even though he owned such sugary condiments, Levi stuck with a much simpler option that was his plain, decaffeinated black tea.

Choosing to sit across from Eren with the beverage on his small, burgundy recliner rather than right beside him on the couch, knowing that it was now reserved as a bed for his overnight guest, therefore no longer his territory, Levi propped his leg up casually by using his second one as a brace all while leaning forwards attentively in order to hear him better.

“So,” the raven said after having taken a sip from his drink. “You were saying?”

“Oh! Right, um…” Setting his mug down on the coffee table after having lapped up some of the whipped cream, not wanting to burn his tongue incase the actual liquid was still hot, Eren grabbed the blanket that Levi had draped over the back of the couch for him, wrapping it tightly around himself as he prepared to spill what he had promised to before being interrupted so that they could move into a different room.

“As I said before, we were frenemies. That doesn’t mean that we both couldn’t have feelings for each other, though. R-Romantic ones…”

Twiddling his thumbs, head hung low, Eren chanced a glance up at Levi to see if he had made a mistake by confirming that he was gay, or was at the very least interested in the same sex as well.

Scanning his face, wondering concurrently if Levi was bothered by that fact, finding nothing except for patient eyes following his every move instead of the disgust that he had prepared for, the brunet slid his tongue over his teeth as he huffed out an anxiety-filled laugh. He was genuinely relieved that the male was fine with what he had said. Or, he appeared to be that way since he was still sitting there on that couch, warm, and with some snacks that had been brought out to share while they’d been waiting for the water to boil.

“It was a Wednesday evening when we both found out we had feelings for each other. We were at our friend Armin’s house. It happened so quickly, but I knew that I wanted it more than anything the moment his lips touched the crook of my neck. Armin had left his room to go get us something to eat then boom, all of a sudden we were making out on his carpet like _that.”_

With a snap of his fingers, the brunet dropped his hand back onto his knee just as quickly as it had risen to continue squeezing it, shaking his head as that look from before slowly returned to his face.

“After that, we started to date in secret. Turns out, all of that fighting was due to sexual frustration, paired with general confusion. Not to mention the usual teenage hormones kicking in that went along with everything else. Of course, we still kept our whole act up through Bible Study, but as soon as we were dismissed, Jean and I spent our time together outside in the woods behind my house.”

Licking his lips, Eren reached for his mug, using that pause to drink as an excuse to help reign in his emotions.

“He was my first everything.”

Nodding his head in understanding, Levi once again braced himself for what was to come.

Something about Eren’s demeanour was off. He could still tell even if they hadn’t known each other for very long. Reading people was his strong suit, after all, but the feeling that he felt this time around was far more intense than when Eren had shed a tear in his washroom now that they were getting closer to the actual wound itself.

“The first time we did it was in a treehouse in those very same woods since the branches were quite large, blocking it from view of my backyard. It had been left on the property by the old owners, so my friends and I collectively decided that we might as well make use of it as some form of a fort. Unfortunately, we had to stop using it to hookup in because the makeshift steps that were there to help us climb up broke off. Also, the tree trunk was too thick, and the climb much too high without them. We had a ladder in the garage, of course, but that meant asking my father to use it. He didn’t know about the treehouse yet. Frankly, I never wanted him to find out. It was supposed to be my safe place. _Our_ safe place.”

Finishing off his hot chocolate, the leftover whipped cream giving him a small mustache, Eren wiped it away with the side of his hand as soon as the shorter male had pointed it out to him. It would’ve been adorable if not for the uncomfortable recounting of a small, but important fraction of his tragic backstory being shared.

“When it comes to Jean, there’s not a whole lot to say about him besides the fact that he hated his mother even though she was as sweet as pie, and accepting of those who were considered to be strange, or frequent sinners.”

Shrugging, Eren scooted back into the corner of the couch, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to admit.

“Because of those two reasons, we resorted to using my house. Specifically, the guest room. As a doctor, Father was away most of the time, and my sister had a job babysitting. Letting him into the house that day happened to be one of, if not the worst decision of my life.”

Biting his lip, Eren had begun to cry again.

Instead of holding it in this time, the brunet allowed himself to shake, his tears flowing freely as Levi watched them soak into the fabric of the brunet's temporary pyjama pants.

“He came home early... We didn’t hear him enter the house over the rock music we had playing for background noise on the portable speaker that he had brought with him. Like an idiot, I hadn’t locked the door behind us either because we didn’t expect anyone to even be _home_ until late. Jean was supposed to be gone by then, so there was nothing much for us to worry about besides getting off.” 

Balling up his hands into fists, the brunet began to scowl down at them, jaw set tight as he clenched his teeth, the grim scene playing out inside of his head as he recounted that horrible day. 

_“Grisha caught us,”_ he spat the name venomously, 'Father' too much for him to handle since the fucker didn’t deserve such a grand title as that. 

“We were both in nothing but our boxers, our dicks still hard inside them. We had just been in the foreplay stage when he swung the door open, already looking pissed off by the sound of our music. Growing up, we weren’t allowed technology besides the computer or radio. Even then, what we did or listened to was monitored, so the look that he wore grew worse when he realized what _else_ we were doing in that room besides just playing music he didn’t approve of. Funny thing is, instead of turning around in shock like a normal parent might've, the bastard stayed there in the doorway, taking a good, long look at our scrawny bodies as we failed to cover ourselves up in time.”

Placing a hand over his mouth, Eren abruptly started to dry heave, prompting Levi to run into the kitchen to fetch him a garbage bin.

Setting it down by his feet when he returned, the brunet holding a hand up to state that he was fine, Levi took a seat beside him as a gentle palm idly rubbed up and down along his back, concern written plainly across his face.

“Take your time. It’s going to be alright. Shit, I’m not very good at this. What do they normally say in these types of situations? Breathe?”

Sniffling, clumps of runny snot most likely smeared under his nose by now, Eren tugged Levi into his chest, the male freezing up in consternation at the boldness of his actions. 

Being held was the _last_ thing he expected to happen when just hours before he stood on death's door with nothing else to lose. He was supposed to have met him by now, yet here he was with some random ass brat sobbing into his shoulder.

“He b-beat me that night. After he kicked Jean out of the house, tossing his clothes out the front door behind him, he c-came back up to my r-room and _beat me._ I could do nothing but p-protect my head as I got the shit kicked out of me.”

Wrapping his arms around Eren to console him, finally returning the hug, the raven shushed him quietly as his new friend continued to wail.

“Never in his life had he r-r-raised his hand towards a-any of us. Not my mother. Not my sister. Not even the cat that visited our yard from time t-to time. _Never!_ Never…”

Tucking the younger male’s head under his chin despite the awkwardness from their height difference, Levi held him there, slender fingers tangling themselves into the messy bun that he had made before having his face shaved.

“A-After that, I ran away. I packed all of my important things into a bag, climbed out of my window, and found a homeless shelter in another c-city by hitchhiking. It was an extremely dangerous thing for me to do, but I couldn’t care less. I was already bruised and bloody anyway. I was fifteen then. Been homeless ever since. I never went back or stayed with any friends. D-Didn’t want ‘em to worry or have the cops catch ‘n return me to the house.”

Lightly scratching the place behind Eren’s ear, Levi opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, lost for words on how to console the man who was clinging to his shirt as if his life depended on it.

“I-I feel like such a _failure._ Drinking underage after mom died by stealing other people's alcohol from out of their liquor cabinets, or getting my older peers to buy it for me. Avoiding going to classes due to the fact that some of the other guys teased me about how feminine my features were; calling me a faggot in the changing room, or the fact that I was always so hot-headed which brought them great entertainment by placing bets to see who could get a rise out of me first. Either that or I was s-simply too drunk to even attend. Not graduating ‘cause I technically dropped out after becoming homeless… B-Being a fag-”

_“It wasn’t your fault.”_

Pulling away from the other, Levi sandwiched Eren’s face in both of his delicate palms, holding him still to direct his line of vision to his face, and his face only. 

_“None_ of this was your fault. You were still a teenager. _A child._ What he did to you was sick on so many levels. He was the one who was in the wrong, _not you.”_

Pulling Eren forwards, a completely out of character thing for Levi to do, partially because he enjoyed his personal space very much, the raven planted a firm kiss on his forehead, brushing long strands of hair out of his eyes so that he could see them better.

“I don’t want to hear you speak negatively about yourself, or being gay ever again, do you understand me?”

Hiccupping, Eren shook his head yes, placing his own palms over Levi’s, finding that the other male's hands were much cooler than his own were.

“Apologize.”

_“What?”_

“I want you to apologize to yourself. To your past self. To your present self. To your future self. I want you to apologize for doubting him. For blaming him for things that were out of his control. Even for the stuff that _was_ and still _is_ in your control. Apologize for making his life even more miserable than it needs to be. I want you to apologize so that you may move on.”

“But- That d-doesn’t… _What?”_

“Listen to me, Eren. If you don’t regret the choices you’ve made, you’ll never truly move on. It means a lack of maturity. You have already shown remorse, something only people who are willing to change, show. As shitty and unfair as it is, though, sometimes in life the only thing we’re allowed to do is to believe that we won’t regret the choice we made. Even if we clearly know that it might not be the correct one in the end.”

Slipping his hands down his face to better cup his jaw, Levi never lost eye-contact with the man.

“In other words, don’t be stupid. Either you forgive yourself now, in my presence, or remain a fool, never again to take control of your life.”

Tilting his head to the side in mild confusion, Eren rid himself of his damp eyes by drying them on the top part of his short sleeves, Levi removing his hands to let the other clear his vision.

“Of course I don’t know which option you should choose. I could never advise you on that… No matter what kind of wisdom dictates the option you pick, no one will be able to tell if it’s right or wrong until you arrive at some sort of outcome from your choice. A lot of the time, you’re going into a situation you know nothing about. So what you need is to be quick to act… and make tough decisions in worst-case scenarios which is exactly what you did when you decided to run away, so obviously you have it in you.”

Scrunching up his brows as he swallowed the bile that had been gradually rising in his throat, Eren shook his head, knowing full well that Levi's intentions were pure.

“So choose. Believe in the _you_ from yesterday, or believe in the experience I've had in this cruel world thus far.”

“I-”

**“Matthew 7:15 Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.”**

“I-I...”

Frantically grabbing for the bucket that had been set down earlier, Eren began spilling the contents of his stomach into it, leaving Levi to lean back to avoid possible splatter.

Cringing as the acrid smell of vomit drifted in his direction, subsequently making him start to gag alongside the brunet, Levi shoved Eren off of his lap, nearly tipping him over as he found himself sprinting down the hall towards the washroom where he knew there was a safe place to relieve his own self into.

* * *

**● ● ●**

* * *

Groaning softly as he stretched out long limbs, a beam of sunlight flooding into the room, reflecting off of his face, Eren opened his eyes with a tiny hiss. The brightness was a solid shock to him when he was already so used to waking up in a cold shadow.

“Good morning Duke of Puke. Think you’ll be able to keep your breakfast down if I serve you any?”

Rolling his eyes at that, Eren swung his feet over the side of the old couch, the springs creaking under his weight, complaining in the only form they knew how.

“Shut up, asshole. But yeah, if that’s your way of asking if I’m hungry, then I am.”

“Good, come join me then. I just finished.”

Seating himself at the equally old table, Eren found his tired, puffy eyes widening significantly at the plate of food that was graciously placed in front of him.

On it were three pieces of French toast topped with syrup and melted butter, two basted eggs with pepper, a bowl of oatmeal that had brown sugar in it set off to the side by his empty cup, and last, but certainly not least, organic apple juice in a jug before him to pour as he pleased.

 _“Levi, this looks amazing!_ Your name _is_ Levi, right?”

 _“Tch._ Here I am providing you with a roof over your head, while at the same time serving you a homemade meal, and you’re telling me that you can’t even remember something as simple as my _name?”_

“So… Was I wrong?”

Sighing, Levi shook his head no as he finished dishing himself up, clasping his hands together once he sat down as if in prayer, causing Eren to flinch, automatically bowing his head like an obedient little kid would do at a family dinner.

Eyelids closed in wait, the brunet startled when his arm was lightly flicked, the worry that he saw in the raven's eyes somewhat alarming to him as he didn’t know what the cause for it was.

“Did I do something wrong? A-Aren’t you going to pray? I thought that…” Lost for words, Eren wanted to curl up into a ball, never to be heard from again. “My bad.”

“...Eren.”

_‘Just what did they do to you?’_

Picking up his fork to stab at an egg, Levi stopped him just before he reached the yolk, lowering his arm down onto the placemat with practiced ease as if he had done so before to another green-eyed rascal who had been in his life.

“I’m not angry at you. At all. I actually want to apologize for whatever it was that I might have done to trigger such a negative reaction out of you.”

Biting his lip to stop it from wanting to tremble, Eren watched on as Levi took a deep breath in to calm his own racing mind.

He wasn’t some miracle worker. He wasn’t sure how to deal with religious trauma. Growing up with his Uncle had squashed any hopes of him ever enjoying a religion, let alone joining one, so seeing the brunet shaken up this badly over clasped hands almost solidified that he at least had _some_ trauma when it came down to it.

Respect it, he could. Tolerate the abuse often stemming from it… _Never._ There was no way in whatever nine circles of hell there were that he was going to ignore the calamitous sight before him.

“Let’s talk after breakfast, alright? For now, I want you to eat up. Don’t be shy about having seconds, or even thirds, got that? I stocked up this week, so I should be okay until next month.”

While that was a humongous lie, he had already seen the way Eren’s ribs protruded slightly outwards hours prior to the meal. Whether he had abs or not, the male was still much too thin to be considered healthy, even if it was noticeable that the bastard didn’t skip working out.

He had heard somewhere that for some people, it’s one of, if not the only thing that keeps them from going insane. He understood completely as a fitness addict himself. That feeling after a good jog was like a drug. Euphoria washing over your body as you bask in the pride that you made it an extra mile more than the last time you took that trail.

The burn in your lungs.

The warmth in your muscles.

_He got it._

It was just such a shame that Eren paid the price for wanting to keep his body from going limp on him by burning off what little he _did_ manage to get into his system. The way he was messily shovelling his food into his mouth like a wild animal who hadn’t been fed in months told Levi everything he needed to know about the poor soul’s dietary habits.

“Slow down before you choke. I don’t need a repeat of last night.”

* * *

**● ● ●**

* * *

“I guess this is it.” Eren shrugged, letting out a rather large yawn, still awfully tired despite him managing to get one of the best periods of sleep he had had in a long while.

Stuffing the two bags that were full of Eren’s freshly cleaned and folded clothes into the grey and orange tent first, the blue tarp he had strewn over it thankfully still holding on, Levi placed one last bag inside which just happened to be full of groceries that wouldn’t spoil onto the partially deflated air mattress.

Zipping the thing up as soon as he was finished to preserve whatever heat might still be in there, Levi turned back around to face his homeless guardian angel.

“I know you probably wish that you could have stayed at my place longer…” _After saving my life not even 48 hours ago._ “Or that I would magically turn out to be some secret millionaire, but the fact of the matter is, I’m not. Unfortunately, I can no longer help you any more than this.”

Gesturing to the entrance of the tent where the bags sat safely inside, Eren followed the motion with a large frown, the crease in his brow only growing deeper the more helpless Levi began to look as he stared at their piss poor surroundings. 

“...Hey. I appreciate everything, even if it’s as small as somebody dropping a dollar into a cup for me. When homeless people say anything helps, we genuinely mean that _anything helps,_ y’know?”

“I know, it’s just that-”

“Save it. Just accept my thanks so that I can accept the hospitality you’ve shown me.”

Cracking a small smile at him, Levi didn’t even try to move out of the way as Eren wrapped him up into a warm hug. It was possibly the warmest one that he'd ever experienced besides his own mother’s embrace, of course.

It felt like home one might say if that was even the correct word for that type of comfortable feeling.

“I won’t forget you, so don’t forget me either, ‘kay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took some inspiration from [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EzeW5KoPUI) song while writing Eren's tiny breakdown/backstory.
> 
> The title of the chapter came from [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssVf326Ox9g&list=LL&index=43) song.


	2. Don't You Want To Disappear?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it! Chapter 2 is finally up! This is personally my favourite chapter of them all, so far. I hope it is also yours. Happy reading!

_**December 9th.** _

_“Fuck.”_

Sifting through the numerous envelopes in his hands, Levi counted out how many were bills vs junk mail, the sheer amount in that single stack causing him to grow more and more anxious by the second as almost all of them looked to be official.

Tearing them open one at a time confirmed his worries as he stared at the large numbers printed in bold, telling the male that he wouldn’t be getting his damage deposit back. The letters also told him that his phone bill was due, as was his car insurance that very same week, along with other pitiful things he didn't have time nor money for.

“FUCK!”

Scowling at the thumping noise coming from the other side of the wall telling him that his neighbour was obviously less than impressed by his sudden outburst, Levi violently stuffed the empty envelopes into his recycling bag stored in the small broom closet next to the front door after having opened the rest of them, taking what wasn’t trash over to the counter to properly sort through them more thoroughly.

It would undoubtedly appear that the possibility of having to drop a visit to the food bank would be much earlier than he’d originally anticipated if he didn’t manage to figure something out regarding those massive bills soon.

Propping boney elbows against the fake marble, Levi mouthed cusses down at the papers beneath him, breathing out heavily through his nose while his fingers worked on ripping strands of hair from his scalp.

Striking his open-faced palms down hard enough to leave a sting, Levi slowly slid them back towards himself, the realization of what all of this meant for him hitting the raven at full force like a shockwave after an explosion. 

Kenny was no longer around to succour him in times of need. Typically when he was undergoing something particularly difficult, his uncle came to the rescue. 

Now… 

Now all Levi was left with were these godforsaken bills on top of the remaining funeral debt of his old guardian.

* * *

● ● ●

* * *

“Look what the wind blew in!”

Recognizing the slurred voice to be that of Eren Jaeger, Levi was about to turn and flee when he was unceremoniously tugged into a side hug by the drunken fellow.

“Fancy seeing you ‘ere! C’mon, I’ve already got a spot in line fer us!”

“Eren- Wait, where are you- Listen, you can’t just skip the line like that- We have numbers for a reason! Why aren’t you? _Stop!_ I can walk perfectly fine by myself, you heavy sack of shi-”

 _“Annie!_ Annie, look who it is! Look who I found!”

Righting himself at the icy glare he received from the blue-eyed woman, taken aback by how hostile she was for only standing at a height of 5’0”, Levi gave a curt nod as Eren insisted upon them getting along with each other judging by his giddy demeanour.

“This is my friend, Annie! She was one of the very few people in the shelter to properly introduce herself when I was still new to all of this homelessness stuff. She disappeared fer a long time, though. Only just returned around three weeks ago which is why I'm so excited you get to meet her!”

“So you’re the guy who wanted to become frozen cherry pie? Pleasure…”

Peering down at the woman whose arms remained crossed over her busty chest much like how he always stood, a somewhat permanent scowl on her face that matched his own, causing the blonde to almost seem sullen, Levi curled his lip back in a sneer, intuitive enough to feel her obvious antipathy radiating towards him.

“...Hilarious. Have you ever considered becoming a comedian?”

Grabbing Eren harshly by his upper bicep, the youth letting out an unnecessarily loud yelp as he did so, Levi proceeded to drag him outside onto where the lawn would be, shoving him hard up against the first tree nearest to them that he saw.

 _“You told her?_ Who else did you tell, _huh?_ _You know I could lose my job over something like this if word gets out, right?_ Nobody wants some suicidal _fuckhead_ working for them! They’re considered a _goddamn hazard!_ There’s no guarantee that I won’t fling myself into- Into… I don’t know, traffic? _Do you understand what I'm getting at here, or are you still too screwed up in the head from all of the pointless drinking that you do to process anything that I am actually saying?!”_

Twisting his face from shock into one of pure malice, Eren shoved Levi away from him, causing the other man to stumble backwards where he was shoved yet again by the brunet.

 _“How dare you?!”_ Gritting his teeth, Eren went to raise his fist only to have Levi beat him to it, the shorter male knocking him down onto the ground with a single punch, landing a solid kick to his gut before his knees had even had the chance to touch the first layer of snow.

Spitting up blood from out of his mouth as Levi planted the bottom of his boot against the side of his head to hold him still, Eren glowered up at the other from where his head was partially buried in it, his blood from his running nose soaking into the snow, painting the places in which it had landed a deep crimson.

“Are you finished having a temper tantrum or do I have to have you arrested for assault?” Lowering himself down onto one knee to meet Eren’s gaze, Levi pulled out a handkerchief for him, handing it over to Eren to help pinch his nose with. “Who are they going to believe here? The homeless drunk, or someone who is employed simply trying to make it in the world?”

Grumbling to himself as he tipped his head back with the cloth pressed firmly against his nostrils, Levi sighed, plucking a twig that had gotten caught during their tussle out of Eren’s soft hair.

“...I’m sorry. I should’ve controlled my temper better. Though I don’t have a whole lot to lose, it’s still a shitton to me. You’re able to understand that, aren’t you?”

After a short pause from biting back his tongue, the brunet finally shook his head yes.

Of course, he understood. Virtually starting out with nothing but a small bag and his thoughts, Eren still didn’t own much more than what he had left with all those years ago besides the occasional handout similar to what Levi had provided him with two weeks ago.

Maybe some wisdom, as well as a bit more maturity was gained, but other than that, he barely had a penny to his name, his bank account drier than a watering hole in a desert. 

“No… I should be the one apologizing. It wasn’t my place to tell ‘er that when we barely know each other. Especially after you've already done so much fer me even though we’ve both pretty much been taken advantage of as far as any financial spectrum thingy is concerned. It wasn’t fair. _Isn’t fair._ I’m sorry, Levi. Would you still be willing to forgive me if I asked fer it?”

Although he’d love to scare the other by raising his foot up again to watch him flinch as he always used to do to his old friend Hanji whenever they'd annoyed him enough, Levi hadn’t forgotten what they had both shared with each other the night he’d let him crash at his place.

Resorting to violence over a stupid shove already crossed that line by his own standards. He didn’t need to further violate his friend's newfound trust in him. 

“You sure do ask for a lot...” Smirking when all Eren gave him was a shy half-smile, Levi held his hand out to him, helping the other up with a snort. “Of course I’ll forgive you, but don’t ever do it again or else I might actually kill you.”

Taking what he said to heart, Eren agreed, looping his arm around Levi’s shoulders as they reentered the soggy cracker box of a building.

“I promise. Thank you... _Now come on before they run outta banana bread again!”_

 _"Oi!_ Be more careful, I don't need you bleeding on me as well!"

* * *

● ● ●

* * *

Setting his groceries down beside the stove with Eren right behind him, Levi brushed fallen strands out of his face as he looked over the bags that they’d both brought over to his place.

The pair had just returned from visiting Annie at a local coffee house after convincing her that the growing bruise on Eren’s face was nothing to be concerned about.

She was a bright young woman, that Annie was, with an even brighter future ahead of her. As it turns out, she was only at the food bank that day to find Eren in order to share with him her current successes, unable to get ahold of him by phone. Apparently, she was no longer living on the streets as she had found herself a life as a personal fitness trainer in the next city over.

Congratulating her as a couple even though the raven felt out of place as the two friends got caught back up with each other, he still managed to bring the male home with him, never once prompting Eren to follow him back over to his vehicle. With no other choice but to let him come with due to the fact that he had already hopped into the passenger's side with the eagerness of a dog about to go for a ride to the park before Levi himself was even remotely close enough to reach his own door handle, the raven let him be, the bruise on his face slowly spreading along with the immediate guilt he felt every time he caught a glimpse of it. 

“Where do you want me to put these?”

“In the fridge is fine. Just leave them in the bag so they don’t get mixed up with mine.”

“Okie Dokie.”

Rolling his eyes as Eren scooted his way around him, brushing his groin against Levi’s ass whether that be purposefully or accidentally, the raven would be lying if he said that it didn’t excite something deep within himself just a little bit.

Face flushing when all the other male did was place his hands on his hips as he tried to make his way back around and out into the main area, Levi tucked his lip between his teeth to help mask that strange feeling he was experiencing.

He felt like a hormonal teen who couldn’t keep their hands off of their junk for even five minutes all over again.

“What next? Wanna watch a movie or something now that I’m sober? Also, what’s up with all of the boxes? Were they here last time I was over or was it just too dark to see them?”

Lifting his gaze to meet Eren’s, the taller male standing in the middle of his half-packed living room looking lost, he had no choice but to tell him his own harsh reality as his reddened cheeks quickly faded away.

“No. No, they weren’t there.”

Humming in thought, Eren caught the way Levi’s body sagged as he peered back over to him, realizing that he might have accidentally touched on something pretty sensitive judging by how pale the raven’s face had become. 

“Uh... Hey, I could just go back to my tent. It’s not a problem-”

“I’m being evicted.”

“Wait… you’re being _what_ now? ”

 _“You heard me._ I said I'm being evicted. I was unable to make rent ever since they raised it, so they told me I’ve got to be out of here by December 25th. High demand for apartments even if they’re straight-up garbage like these ones are.”

“...The twenty-fifth? _But that’s Christmas!”_

“Yes, I’m well aware of that. Nothing better than a big fat Holly Jolly Christmas and a Happy Birthday to me than being tossed out onto the curb.” 

_“It’s also your birthday?! Why didn’t you tell me this when we talked? That’s only sixteen days away!”_

“I know.”

_“Why are you only packing now?! Do you even have anywhere to put this stuff?”_

**_“No! I don’t! That’s because I was supposed to be dead by now!”_ **

Running a hand through silky hair, Levi took a seat on his recliner, his head aching from shouting at the same time as Eren reached into the inside pocket of his jacket to pull out his flask.

“Here.”

“I don’t drink.”

“You do now. Trust me on this. I’ll make sure to protect you if you accidentally consume too much, so just take it. Not like I need it anyway. It may help keep my body temperature up on super cold nights, but in all honesty, it does more bad than good in the long run since I abuse it. Besides, I want to give up drinking. I’m tired of missing out on life.”

“Funny you say that to a man who wants to end his own.”

Flicking the cap off using his forefinger and thumb, Levi brought the flask up to his lips, stopping just before a drop could enter his mouth.

“Are you clean?”

“Am I clean? I mean, I use the razor you gave me every second day in the bathroom of a gas station and also sneak into the campground that is still open sometimes so that I can shower if I’m unable to get a hotel within the two-week grace period I give myself.”

Facepalming as Eren threw his arms into the air with a trill of his lips, the brunet immediately dropped them in defeat.

“Not that type of clean…”

_“Well, then what type?! As far as I’m concerned, there is no other type!”_

“I meant STD’s or things like herpes. Do you have any?”

“What the hell does that have to do with drinking out of my flask?”

“You do know that they can be transferred through bodily fluids such as saliva, do you not?”

“...”

“You didn’t know that, did you. Oh for fucks sake...”

Inspecting the rim of the flask as if he’d be able to see anything crawling around on it, Eren hung up his coat, snickering at the face the older male was making.

“Don’t worry, I’m clean. I might play musical beds, but never in that way if you know what I mean.” Wiggling his eyebrows down at Levi, the raven had to place a hand over his mouth to hide the grin that was beginning to form from his juvenile joke. “I make sure to get tested if I do have a sexual encounter, even if we used a condom, so don’t worry. I may come across as stupid, but at least I don’t lack common sense. Especially when it comes to that department.”

“Alright, alright. Enough Don Juan, you’re going to make me choke.”

“Oh, if you think that’s all it takes for you to choke, then I can give you something worth choking on.” 

Actually choking on the liquor this time around, Eren barely had enough time to realize what he had said before he was on his knees begging for forgiveness as Levi sputtered where he sat, trying to regain his breath between coughs.

“I-I-I didn’t mean to let that slip! It’s just that- Levi, you’re-”

Bowing his head in shame, the raven squinted his eyes, deep in thought as he studied the other’s body language.

“I’m what? Go on, I want to hear you say it.”

Though he genuinely had no idea what Eren was carrying on about, totally oblivious to all of the glances that he’d been stealing even days previous to this, he was still much too curious to drop the subject. 

How could he when his little hobo knelt so perfectly by his feet?

He looked even more like a kicked puppy now than when he had first dropped him back off under the bridge. Even freshly shaved with new clothes on his back as he was.

“Du bist sehr hübsch…"

_(You’re very handsome.)_

_“Huh?”_

Scrunching up his face, ears tinting a light pink, the brunet licked his lips before repeating himself.

“Ich sagte, du bist sehr hübsch. Ich… Ich mag dich sehr.”

_(I said, you’re very handsome. I… I like you a lot.)_

“...I see.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose to hide his equally growing bashfulness, Levi eventually rose to his feet, taking the defeated male’s chin in his hand afterwards to tilt his head up to meet his eyes.

“Was würde passieren, wenn ich dir sage, dass ich dich auch gern habe?”

(What would happen if I told you that I also like you?)

Stunned by the fact that Levi not only knew German but was also able to speak it fluently almost had Eren falling down onto his ass. He most likely would've if it hadn’t been for Levi reaching out to steady him by placing his petit hands on his broad shoulders before that could happen.

“Easy there.”

_“You speak German?”_

“That I do. If I recall correctly, I did tell you my last name was Ackerman, did I not?” 

“Oh… Right. Yeah, I’m not even gonna lie, I totally forgot that until now.”

“Even after making jokes about me being related to your sister because we share the last name?”

“I hate you.”

“I thought you just said that you liked me...”

Rolling his eyes, Eren rested the majority of his weight onto his right hip with a huff of breath.

“I take it back.”

Releasing a chortle, Levi found himself wanting to lean into him, Eren’s slightly calloused hand coming up to rest against the side of his cheek as if he had heard his plea for contact.

“Too late. I already heard what you said,” he whispered, closing his eyes as he felt a soft brush of a thumb pad swipe along the somewhat prominent bone there.

Skimming across the thin layer of leftover whiskey glistening on Levi’s plump lower lip, Eren found his body leaning even further than it already was into the unintentionally erotic sight before him. Although unsure as to why he found it to be as such, it probably would remain as something that only he himself would ever properly be able to understand.

“Kann ich dich küssen?”

_(Can I kiss you?)_

Swallowing thickly from his newfound nervousness, Levi quickly brought the flask back up to his lips, chugging almost all of it down in one go, causing the brunet to silently gape at the amount of skill that took for a man who apparently didn't touch alcohol to do.

Letting out a small gag as soon as he started to place the cap back on, Levi gave a brief shake of his limbs as he set the flask down on the side table next to the chair, the sting in his throat leaving an obvious trail deep into the pit of his stomach, evidently causing a pleasant burn to blossom in his chest similar to that of being held by a lover.

It was no wonder the poor man drank so much. To think that a majority of it was due to him wanting to feel a semblance of the love he was once shown as a child before everything went to shit.

“...Ja. Ich denke, dass Whisky alle Krankheiten töten wird, die Sie tragen könnten.”

_(...Yes. I think that whiskey is going to kill any diseases that you might be carrying.)_

Lightly smacking the side of Levi’s head with a large grin that was reciprocated by the other male, Eren slipped his fingers through the short strands of onyx coloured hair, his fingernails grazing his crush’s military-style undercut as he brought their faces even closer together than they already were.

Noses brushing against one another’s in wait, Levi was the first to begin tilting his head, teasing the taller male by gently pulling away from him whenever Eren got too close to connecting their lips in a proper kiss.

“Worauf wartest du noch, Jaeger? Sag mir nicht, dass du dir Gedanken darüber machst, einen älteren Mann zu küssen-”

_(What are you waiting for, Jaeger? Don't tell me you're worried about kissing an older man-)_

Silencing him by slipping his tongue inside of his mouth to part Levi’s delicate lips, scraping past straight teeth to find the raven’s tongue, the brunet released a sultry moan the moment the two muscles touched, revelling in the feeling of the acceptance that he was wholeheartedly shown even though Levi hadn’t kissed many people in his life, (Not in a manner such as _this)_ causing him to be slightly sloppy.

Lifting both of his arms up to wrap themselves around Eren’s neck, Levi moaned into the kiss when he felt the brunet trail his left hand down to the small of his back, the pair now both holding onto each other equally as tight. Separating for what seemed like a split second to catch their breaths, a small string of saliva connecting the two men together, they both found themselves immediately diving back into it as the found themselves stumbling backwards, Levi’s knees buckling as soon as the back of his legs hit the edge of the recliner that he had almost forgotten was behind him.

Attacking not only each other's throats with nips and sucks now that they were both somewhat seated, the two male's switched to running their hands up and down their partner's chest, clawing at the fabric of their shirts which acted as a barrier between feeling the skin that the pair _knew_ rested underneath.

“Du bist so heiß. Darf ich das ausziehen? Hebe deine Arme.”

_(You’re so hot. Can I take this off? Raise your arms.)_

Doing as he was asked with a tug to the taller males flesh of his lip to assert some form of dominance over him, Levi surrendered his arms to the other, allowing the brunet to slide his black v-neck shirt off of his body where it was then casually tossed to the side to be both out of sight and out of mind. 

Returning to the task at hand which just so happened to be Levi who was half on the chair, splayed out in a way that made him look like a damn model- the word Porn Star too provocative for how gorgeous he was right then -Eren took a moment to admire the view, feeling his member steadily growing inside of his boxers.

“Was ist das, Bright-Eyes?” Levi cocked his head to the side, watching curiously as Eren took in the toned chest before him. “Bist du dir jetzt unsicher? Wir können aufhören, wenn du willst. Ich habe nicht vor, weiter zu gehen...”

_(What’s the matter, bright-eyes?) (Are you having second thoughts? We can stop if you'd like. I don't plan on taking it any further than this right now…)_

**“Romans 1:27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.”**

_“Nein.”_

_(No.)_

Shaking his head side to side, Eren tore his own shirt off, dropping it beside them as he kept his eyes glued to the porcelain skin of Levi’s chest. The steady rise and fall of it was quite mesmerizing as he placed his open palm over the other’s sternum so that he could feel it moving.

“Nein, ich will noch nicht aufhören. Ich möchte dich mehr spüren. Bitte, Levi.”

_(No, I don’t want to stop. I want to feel you more. Please, Levi.)_

Humming, Levi drug Eren’s head back down into yet another kiss, the brunet’s slender digits drawing patterns on his chest.

“Du hast fünf Minuten, un zu tun, was du willst, aber kein Sex. Verstanden?”

_(You have five minutes to do whatever it is that you'd like, but no sex. Got it?)_

Ignoring the tightness steadily growing inside of his chest from the stress, his past rearing its ugly head, the brunet decided to stomp it down as his knees found themselves resting beside the other’s thighs as he now held him down in a straddle.

“Ja, ich verstehe.”

_(Yes, I understand.)_

_**December 15th** _

“Come help me move these boxes.”

_"Just a second!"_

Gently wiping a bead of sweat off of his forehead, Eren finished taping up another box that was labelled kitchen, setting the taper down on top of it with a huff as he heaved himself back onto his feet. 

Meeting Levi by the doorway where he observed the raven struggling to carry three boxes all by himself, the brunet scoffed at the absurdity of it, the balancing act he was doing similar to that shown in a circus. 

“Hey, careful!” Steadying the tower before lifting one of them off, Eren smiled when the other’s face appeared after having eliminated the threat. “Here, don’t worry, I’ve got it. I can take this one from you as well. I’m surprised you even managed to pick all of these up by yourself in the first place.”

Maneuvering the other box that he had tried to grab out of Eren’s immediate reach, Levi motioned with a jerk of his head for his helper to follow him out into the hall.

Careful not to knock the doorstop out with his clumsiness, Eren minded his feet as he exited the apartment, the one heavy box he had taken from Levi in hand as he followed the raven through a second propped open door, into the stairwell, and out a third that led to the back of a parked moving truck.

Setting the box he carried down at the top of the truck's ramp from where he stood on the ground, off to the side of it, Levi placed the tips of his fingers to his temples, letting out an exhausted string of whispered profanities as Eren joined him there.

“...Levi? Are you okay?”

Tongue grazing over the tops of his teeth, deep in thought, Levi finally turned on his heel to face the other male, pursing slightly chapped lips as he did so.

“Not particularly.”

Stacking his own box in the back of the truck by using the ramp for its intended purpose unlike Levi had, Eren took a seat on the edge of it, his legs laying flat as he rested a firm, yet comforting hand on top of Levi’s left shoulder.

“You know that you can come to me about anything free of judgement, right? I’ll be sure to hear you out. Is it about the move? Are you scared of putting all of this stuff in a storage locker? Worried somebody might break-in?”

“No.”

Turning his head to the side to meet Eren’s beautiful gaze, the sunlight bringing out small flecks of gold in them that he would’ve never noticed if they hadn’t been so close, Levi tightened his jaw as the look in those brilliant eyes of his gradually changed into one of pity for him.

“It’s not that, so quit giving me that look. I’ve already told you before that I hate it.”

“...Sorry.”

Pushing off against the corner of the metal bumper, Levi started towards the door as Eren slid halfway down the ramp on his butt before running back over to the other male ascending the singular flight of stairs for the umpteenth time that day. Neither of them had been able to afford to hire a proper moving company to do such tedious work, so that meant their bodies ached in the worst ways possible as they transferred everything he owned all by themselves.

Back inside the old place, Eren frowned when Levi picked up his backpack by the strap, inspecting it by twisting and turning it about as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

“It’s about what happened.” Handing it back over to him, Eren chucked it aside where the couch had once sat, now just a few stray boxes waiting to be taped and labelled, along with a scratched wooden floor that was covered in litter from all of the packing and sorting they had done remaining. “When you kissed me that day… What did it mean to you?”

Startled by the question, the brunet gave the side of his left cheek a small scratch as he closed the distance between them, meeting Levi in the middle of his old place where the raven was facing opposite of him to stare out the living room window, Eren having stopped just short of stepping on his heels.

“What did it mean to me?” He parroted the question in a whisper, hovering over the smaller male’s shoulder as he eventually pressed their bodies together, his head resting against the side of Levi’s own from behind him. “When you kissed me that day, I felt as though I actually belonged somewhere in this world. Cheesy as it is… I… It…”

Swivelling his small form around in his arms, no longer scared to show his true emotions even though he almost always wore his heart on his sleeve, Eren pressed his forehead to Levi’s own, a shiver running down his spine that wasn’t caused by the chilly breeze running through the building.

**“Romans 13:8 Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.”**

“It meant more to me than you’ll ever possibly know. If you’re still unsure what that means, then,” Grasping the male’s thin, pale hand in his own, Eren stroked it tenderly as he lowered Levi’s head down by his chin; pressing a gentle kiss to the space between the raven’s furrowed brows, he ended it with another to the tops of the other’s knuckles. “I’d like to help you through this as much as I’m able to. I know this is a lot to ask of you since you’re probably really tired from climbing those same flights of stairs for four days straight already, but...” 

* * *

● ● ●

* * *

Moving Truck safely returned to the rental company at the late hour of 1:00 AM of December 16th after everything had been transferred once again with the help of Eren into a medium-sized storage unit, Levi managed to catch a cab back to the apartment where his few essential things remained. Things such as an air mattress, a pillow, a blanket, a weekender bag full of clean clothing, a couple of dishes to cook with, a decent wad of cash for food with some change mixed in for the bus fare, as well as what he had returned with, of course.

The next step in all of this was post car that he could no longer afford online, but first, he needed sleep.

Settling down onto the pre-pumped air mattress as soon as he had gotten back, the raven quirked a brow when he heard a ding, followed by a vibrate from his phone where it lay plugged into the wall in place of where his standing lamp used to be.

_“Who…?”_

Irritatedly throwing the blanket off of himself as he had just been drifting in and out of consciousness, the raven crawled over to it on his hands and knees like a kid, picking the phone up to unlock it with squinted eyes.

Reading over the notification, Levi felt stupid as he’d almost forgotten that Eren had traded phone numbers with him when they’d been standing back in line at the food bank for the second time. He remembered it was on the ninth only because the male had been so adamant about getting banana bread to split that day, that he had gone so far as to ask Levi to borrow his cellphone so that he may write it down in the notes app. 

Despite Levi assuring him that he’d never let him forget, he eventually gave into him when the male had made the world's most heartbreaking puppy-dog eyes that he had ever seen.

Though it was extremely hard for him to admit, Eren’s put Isabel’s to shame.

Checking to see if he had actually written anything afterwards when the male was no longer focused on the device, not wanting such a stupid thing in his phone, Levi swivelled his head around to make sure that nobody was looking at his reddened face.

Instead of finding absolute gibberish that one would expect from somebody who was wasted, Levi was met with the brunet's name and number as the newest contact added.

**Eren** ** Jaeger **

* * *

**Eren, 2:25 AM:** _Hi. R u still awake by any chance?😅_

 _I was just about to go to sleep, but I am. Why? What's up?_ **: 2:26 AM**

 **Eren, 2:26 AM:** _The hotel I thought I had booked just tld me_

_that they gave the room away to sum1 who was willing 2_

_spend more $ 4 it.😭 Ig it's back 2 the tent unless I can_

_find another b4 they all fill up.🤞🏼_

**Read: 2:26 AM**

* * *

Licking his lips as he crawled back over to his mattress, Levi stared down at the text, thoroughly drained from the long day he'd had. How was he supposed to sleep now that he knew Eren was out there in the cold all alone, susceptible to frostbite, or worse? It wasn't as if he could leave him on read, either.

Chewing on his bottom lip this time, the raven tapped away at his screen, the knowledge that Eren was even sleeping outside before all of this enough to make his stomach churn uncomfortably, his mind filling with unease as he thought about how bad it would still be if he were to allow the other to crash in the backseat of his car for the remainder of the night instead of the proper shelter he deserved.

**Eren** ** Jaeger **

* * *

**Eren, 2:26 AM** ** **:** ** _The hotel I thought I had booked just tld me_

_that they gave the room away to sum1 who was willing 2_

_spend more $ 4 it.😭 Ig it's back 2 the tent unless I can_

_find another b4 they all fill up.🤞🏼_

_Where are you now? I’m coming to get you._ **:** **2:29 AM**

 **Eren, 2:31 AM** **:** _@ 710 on Rose St, SE by the truck stop._

_U better hurry tho if ur 4real. I think 1 of the addicts_

_outside wants 2bone me cause lot lizards frequent this_

_spot & my hair is down rn if u know wat I mean by that. _

_Don’t move. Stay inside the building where there are cameras, got it?_ **: 2:31 AM**

 **Eren, 2:34 AM:** _Roger that.🙋_

**Read: 2:34 AM**

* * *

Lot lizards? That was a new one.

Throwing on pants, Levi used the flashlight on the back of his phone to locate his car keys, tugging his shoes and winter jacket on the moment he had found the keys buried deep within his bag. 

Lightly shivering as he cleared the snow off the windows of his vehicle using the brush-end of his scraper as it had started to fall, the raven was grateful that he didn’t have to dig his car out, the plows having already cleared the alleyway earlier that week where he frequently parked.

Tossing the scraper into the backseat, Levi turned the key in the ignition, pulling out of his spot in the alley and onto the street.

Setting his GPS on his phone when he rolled up at a stoplight, the male constantly found himself tapping the screen to check for any messages from Eren, even as he drove across slippery overpasses at highway speeds.

Why was he even so damn distracted in the first place? It wasn’t as if Eren was some helpless moron who couldn’t hold his own. Although he was considered very pulchritudinous for a male, he was still a full-grown man nonetheless. 

Pulling up to the sketchy twenty-four-hour convenience store upon arriving on Rose St, Levi unplugged his phone from the cord attached to his cigarette lighter, detaching it from the holder where it had sat as he scanned the windows in search of the top of his Eren’s head. He didn’t plan on leaving his car lest it be stolen in the few minutes he would spend inside to gather the brunet. 

**Eren Jaeger**

* * *

**Eren, 2:34 AM:** _Roger that.🙋_

_I’m outside in the[blue 1986 Toyota Cressida.](https://cdn02.carsforsale.com/425888/EF5910AB-6A83-44C6-B0D3-8914090CA012_1.jpg) You shouldn’t miss it seeing as _

_I'm the only one out here, besides your new friends._ **:** **3:18 AM**

_Are you sure you’re even in there? I don’t see you anywhere._

_It also looks pretty dead to me. I hope you gave me the correct address._ **: 3:20 AM**

**Sent: 3:20 AM**

* * *

Bending over to pick up a stray napkin from off of the passenger's seat floormat that he’d spotted while uncomfortably sitting in wait of the brunet, Levi shot straight up at the unexpected sound of knocking coming from the driver's side window, whacking his head on the rearview mirror with a shout on his way up.  
  
Stuffing the trash into the tiny plastic garbage bag he kept tied to the center console for that specific reason, Levi found himself turning towards where the sound had come from with a grit of his teeth, the tiredness making him more irritable than normal. 

_“Eren!_ I swear to-”

Doing a double-take at the prostitute who wore a ridiculously large grin on their face as they pressed up against his window, fogging up the glass, Levi found himself climbing sideways in his seat to avoid the freak as he attempted to crawl into the empty one beside himself.

Seat belt locking him into place before he could even make it over the E-Brake, his door flung open as a very excited individual reached inside to engulf him in a desperate hug.

_“Levi?! Levi, is that really you?!”_

_“Hanji?_ What on earth are you doing out here? Scratch that, what are you doing in this area dressed like _that?!_ You know it’s dangerous as shit, right? I thought you were a damn hooker!”

Taking in the sight of his old friend he hadn’t seen since Erwin’s funeral, Levi felt tears welling up in his eyes as Hanji let out a boisterous laugh, holding their abdomen as they threw their head backwards in a howl.

 _“I missed you too!_ _You haven’t changed one bit!_ That’s nice to see…”

Blowing a strand of hair out of their face that had come loose from out of their already messy ponytail, Hanji leaned back to grant Levi silent permission to release the strain that the belt had put on his ribs. 

Unbuckling himself to reset the safety lock on it, Levi pushed his friend the rest of the way out of the car, he himself now standing out in the cold as the heat escaped from the crack in his ajar door. 

_“Hanji,”_ he repeated as the brunette opened their arms to him with a warm smile. _“How did you find me?”_

“Find you?”

Looking down at the top of Levi’s head quizzically as the raven sought out the much-needed comfort in their embrace, Hanji genuinely understood what he meant by that double-barreled question, gently wrapping the large white fur coat that they wore around his small frame as best as they were able to, enveloping him even tighter as a hand made its way up and down along the length of the raven's small back.

“I placed a tracker on your car.”

Tensing up under their touch, Hanji laughed again, promptly returning to tenderly stroking his back in a reassuring manner. 

“I’m teasing you, bugga-boo! I saw your car from the lot when I was waiting to cross the street for a snack. There’s only one grumpy old man that I know of in this city who owns a car with a bright red rim on the front driver's side of it.” 

Turning his head around to look at the tire with a frown, sure enough, it was still as red as when it had first been spray-painted on. It was almost insane how long the paint had lasted without chipping off as he’d initially hoped it would. 

He remembers that day as clear as the shape of the deuce he’d dropped in the toilet earlier that morning had been.

The lunatic had somehow managed to find the used spray can in an alleyway that they'd been walking down, the group returning back to Erwin’s place for an after-party, having just visited a newly opened bar that held karaoke night every Friday.

The blonde had obviously still been alive then, along with his devoted husband, Mike, who often tagged along for their odd, but entertaining ventures. 

He was so plastered that night from his friend’s only buying double shots that he couldn’t even walk by the time they’d left, the bushy-browed man carrying him over his shoulder as his other hand held onto his husband's. It was when they were just arriving at the attractive blonde’s house, Levi helplessly swinging from side to side with the sway of the taller male's hips, that he had spotted Hanji creeping towards his vehicle that he had specifically parked on the street to avoid being touched by them.  
  
Of course, his throat had become so hoarse from all of the horrible singing that they had done by then that he struggled to even speak, let alone get the other male's attention until it was too late.

The rest was history...

“Just be glad that you did,” they whispered to him as he slowly pulled away. “I know I sure am.”

Taking in the other's outfit once more, specifically the crescent cutout in the bust of the maroon dress that they wore, the slit revealing part of a black lingerie top that sat underneath, Levi continued down until he stopped at a set of black high heeled boots. Eyes travelling back up their slender form, catching sight of the dangly golden earrings that hung from their lobes, Levi took a couple of hesitant steps away from his old friend, a troubled expression making its way onto his face as he met Hanji’s chocolate brown orbs for the first time in years.

“...You’re.”

“I know.”

“But..? What happened to you? _Why?”_

Sucking in their lip, Hanji fixed the furry white jacket, holding it snugly against their torso as a gust of typical winter wind blew through the empty space between them, the dress not doing much for their legs as far as keeping them warm went. 

That was just how it was when your only job consisted of selling your own body to sexually frustrated truckers who missed their partner when out on the road.

“Well… Let’s just say that sometimes things happen in life, and you don’t know _why_ they happen. Choices have to be made… and this was the best one I had at the time.”

Parting his lips as if to answer them, Levi’s attention was quickly drawn away by the shadow of a figure approaching them from the right where he knew the gas station stood, his brain on high alert due to all of the possible threats nearby.

“Hey, you actually came! Sorry, I didn’t get your text because there wasn’t any service in the bathroom. You wouldn’t believe it if I told you, but first I had to argue with the bastard who worked the counter to even let me have the key to it, and then! _Then_ I somehow get locked inside? So I ended up pounding on the door for him to let me _out!_ Crazy, huh?! Oh, who’s this?” 

Offering their hand out to Eren, the other brunet accepted it by giving it a quick shake, a tiny bit freaked out by the wide Cheshire cat smile that split across Hanji’s face as their gaze flickered between the two males almost knowingly.

“Hanji Zoe! Nice to meet you…?”

“Eren Jaeger.”

“Eren!”

Re-adjusting their oval glasses to get a better look at the raven's newest companion, Hanji shot a wink in Levi’s direction the minute Eren had turned his head away.

Appearing to be askance as he pressed his tongue against the roof of his mouth, releasing it with a _‘tch,’_ Levi was unable to keep his eyes off of the idiot even as he was trying his best to discreetly pick his nose.

Breaking the short silence that had fallen over them with a loud clap of their hands, Hanji brought everyone’s attention back over to them.

“It’s freezing out here, so best to get out of this blasted weather while we still can, right?”

Approaching Levi much more languidly this time around, Hanji took him back into their arms, Eren’s lip curling upwards in unreasonable jealousy.

Not only was it due to the fact that the two of them were clutching onto one another too close for his ridiculous sense of comfort, but also because he himself had yet to reunite with his childhood friends, which ultimately included his very own sister.

Sure, they talked on the phone whenever he had enough minutes, but other than that, he avoided them as best he could since he had fibbed about his living situation. When questioned about the lack of communication between weeks, he naturally blamed it on having a very punishing schedule. 

As Hanji rocked the male back and forth even as he grumbled his halfhearted complaints into their chest, Levi didn’t miss the look that had crossed over Eren’s face as he turned around to leave, knitting his brows together in confusion as Hanji glanced back over their shoulder to see where Eren had gone as well.

Pressing his lips into a fine line as they both heard the door to the backseat of his car slam shut, ultimately causing his friend to discover his whereabouts, Levi let them go once more to run both of his hands down the front of his face, tugging on the bags of his eyes. 

“...Don’t mind him. He’s had a long night.”

“Where did you pick him up from?”

_“Are you asking me how we met?”_

Finally shutting his own door that he'd accidentally left open while they'd all been lingering by the vehicle with his foot, Levi guided Hanji away to stand by the front of the store in order to prevent Eren from eavesdropping.

Retaining eye-contact with the brunet through the front windshield even as Hanji began to speak again, giving his head a shake as he watched Eren pull out that wretched flask of his, Levi finally redirected his gaze back over to a very patient Hanji who had stopped to observe their friend.

“I’m sorry, could you… Do you think you could repeat what you said for me?”

Feeling awfully sympathetic for the raven who continued to be drawn to the man holing up in his car in spite of the fact that the two of them had been separated for years, Hanji decided to drop the subject completely, alternately masking it with a fake yawn so that Levi felt less bad about ending the encounter.

“Tired?”

Smiling affectionately down at Levi with a nod, Hanji dug their phone out of the inside of the large jacket’s pocket, handing it over for Levi to add his number into as soon as it had been unlocked.

“Here. I figured you should call or text me seeing as we’re holding each other up.”

Taking the flip phone with a snicker, amazed that the device still worked, he punched his name and personal number in, leaving the home phone space blank with a sombre expression. 

To think that he sincerely believed he was almost over his nausea already...

Closing the phone as soon as he saw that it had successfully saved, the raven placed it back into his friend’s hand with a yawn of his own.

“You should get going before the weather gets to be too bad. That, or you land yourself in the ditch because you fell asleep at the wheel like a dolt.”

“Hey, four eyes... _When can I see you again?”_

Cupping Levi’s face carefully, Hanji brought him closer to place a very soft kiss on the tip of his nose. If it were anybody else who had done that to him, back in his teenage years or otherwise, he would have probably swung at them. 

_Now… Now he took every ounce of affection he could get._

“You understand, don’t you?”

Turning to look at the semi-trucks all parked in a line like some sort of army waiting to charge, Hanji tilted their head back towards Levi, the male already grieving their loss when they’d barely reunited as it was.

“I’m still mad at you about my car, by the way.”

_“Haha!”_

Bumping Hanji on the chest with the side of his fist as he began the short walk back to his beater where Eren still sat in wait, the raven listened carefully to the sound of the bell chiming behind him as the friend from his youth entered the convenience store.

“...See you. Hanji.”

* * *

● ● ●

* * *

“You’re awfully quiet...”

Back at the barren apartment, safe from the approaching blizzard forecasted to start around 5:00 AM that day, Levi looked over at Eren who had somehow compressed himself into a ball in the corner of his living room right beside the plugin. How that was even possible for him to do with such long legs, he didn’t know.

“Are you coming to bed? It’s already four in the morning.”

Huffing in mild irritation when he didn’t get an answer from him, watching as the bright light of Eren’s phone screen flashed, telling the older male that the other was actively swiping through apps from underneath the blanket he had strewn over himself, Levi waltzed up to kick the bottom of his foot that stuck out of it, brows drawn tightly together.

_“I know you can hear me.”_

Angrily shucking the thin blanket off of his head to glare at the raven who stood before him with his hands on his hips, the static making strands of his hair stick all the way up into the empty air, the brunet locked his phone without a word.

“Is that a yes or a no? Listen, I don’t know what I did to make you act like such a fucking toddler, but whatever it was, you better get over it by wrapping whatever _this,”_ Levi vaguely gestured to all of him with a disappreciative frown. “Is up. And fast.”

About to turn around to return to the air mattress, Eren cleared his throat loud enough for Levi to have heard it, but not forceful enough to rid it of anything that may have _actually_ been stuck in it to begin with.

“I’ll come to bed.”

Glancing back down at the male who had actually put his phone down to charge alongside Levi’s own, the raven didn’t wait for him to follow.

Lying down on the left side of the makeshift bed, both of their heads facing west, Levi tried his best to move over as he felt the weight that was Eren settle in beside him on his right.

“Thank you.”

Closing his eyes in annoyance at the grunt that was given as a response, Levi concentrated on slipping off into slumber while he still had the hours to do so.

“Goodnight Eren.”

“...Night.”

After around half an hour of feeling the brunet toss and turn as he tried his best to get comfortable, Levi was about to ask what the other's problem was when all of a sudden he was no longer by his side, but making his way towards the washroom instead.

_Ah… So he had to piss. Made sense._

Fixing the blankets now that he had the chance, Levi didn’t miss the sound of the toilet lid being raised, the wall thin enough to tell you of anyone's business. It was one of the main reasons why he hated it so much whenever the neighbour had brought home guests.

Not a name cried out in pleasure went undetected by his poor ears.

Sitting up when he didn’t hear the familiar rattling of a toilet seat being sat upon, (his seat somewhat broken which amplified the horrific sounds of it) nor the thunderous gush that came with pissing into water from a distance, the raven was about ready to ask if he were feeling alright when he heard a dull thud against the wall where the back of the toilet tank would be.

“...What the hell?”

Silently slipping out of bed and into the hallway, unsure if Eren needed any help since withdrawals were often a thing when one wasn’t consuming as much as they normally would in a day, he raised his fist up, preparing to knock on the door but was stopped by the muffled grunt that came from the other side of it.

Relaxing his arm back down to his side in bewilderment, the raven leaned into where the crack of the door was, ear hovering over it as he felt the cool breeze from the pressure change tickling the side of his cheek.

_“Awe, fuck…”_

Straightening up at that, Levi rested his left hand on the door frame adjacent to the brass knob, eyes wide as his mind scrambled to put two and two together.

_“L-Levi. You feel so good, ah... Shit, you’re squeezing me so tight, fuck. Nnng… J-Just like that. Don’t stop...”_

Was he actually touching himself in there? To the thought of Levi, no less?

Retracting the hand that had started to palm his growing erection without his knowledge, Levi swallowed a thick lump in his throat. There was absolutely _no way_ that he was going to touch himself as well. Even just _listening in_ on Eren’s private activity was enough to make Levi shudder in discomfort.

Creeping back into the living room, mindful of the weakened parts of the floorboards, Levi carefully tucked himself back under the covers, covering his head with one of Eren’s discarded shirts that he found as vivid images played in his head.

Every grunt that spilled from the bathroom was torture, his cock straining itself in his boxer briefs at the same time the brunet's thick scent assaulted his nose from smothering himself in it. 

_...Damn him._

* * *

● ● ●

* * *

Goodnight my ass! How on earth was one supposed to sleep when a Greek god incarnate laid dangerously close beside you without a shirt on, showing off those glorious back muscles of his that trumped your own?

_Yeah, that’s what I thought!_

Trying his best to ignore the growing problem down below, Eren was eventually forced into giving up.

The last thing the brunet needed was for his cock to stretch the fabric of his sweatpants to the point where they either ripped, or he accidentally poked Levi in the ass if the other were to so much as move an inch in his sleep.

Careful not to wake him, Eren made his way down the hallway and into the safest place he knew of where it was unlikely that he’d be caught, nor disturbed. Even if he were to make funny noises, he could always just make up excuses for them, right? 

I mean, the building was old enough to creak and groan on its own, so it’s not like anything would sound out of place.

Closing the door as quietly as he could manage after having flicked on the light that hummed from age, Eren positioned himself over the toilet bowl, not wanting to shoot his load into, or onto, anything that might give away what he had done if he were to miss a spot while cleaning up. 

Toilet paper was such a stereotype anyway. Why do you think most people who wiped themselves down there bunched or folded it up? He wasn’t about to wash cum out from deep between the creases of his fingers if he didn’t have to.

Taking himself out of his pants, tucking his balls securely in front of the waistband of his sweats as a way to cup them, the brunet hissed as his cold fingers met the hot flesh of his cock. He was already able to feel the way it throbbed in his hand as precum beaded at his slit, and yet he hadn’t even touched it in that way.

**“Job 31:1 I have made a covenant with my eyes; How then could I gaze at a virgin?”**

Making a strangled noise as he granted himself time to get adjusted to the change in temperature, Eren eventually started off by rubbing the place under the reddened head, biting back moans as he worked his way down to his neatly trimmed pubes. 

_“Awe, fuck…”_

Quickening his pace now that his hand had warmed up, finding a rhythm that best worked for him, the brunet rested his head on the top of his forearm that was pressed up against the wall to stabilize himself. 

Biting his lip to keep himself from crying out as he was known for being extremely vocal, Eren's toes curled on the tile floor, precum pouring freely from his shaft now, only to be swiped away by the pad of his thumb as an odd form of lubrication. 

As drool slid down the corners of his mouth as he had begun to pant the more into it he got, containing his moans by switching to biting the side of his thumb in fear that he might’ve actually wound up splitting his lip open, Eren imagined that he was fucking the raven and not just his lonely fist. 

_“L-Levi. You feel so good, ah... Shit, you’re squeezing me so tight, fuck. Nnng… J-Just like that. Don’t stop...”_

Whispering praises to a man who wasn’t even there to do so, Eren gave the hand tending to his cock a pulsating squeeze to imitate how Levi’s walls might have felt flexing around the stiff organ which twitched in need of release.

Sounds of lewd squelching echoing throughout the lilliputian room, Eren bucked his hips more furiously into his hand, gaining some much-needed friction as he neared his end. 

Entirely unaware that Levi had been lurking by the doorway, his secrets spelled out for him as clear as glacier waters, Eren scrunched his face in pleasure as his body tensed up in anticipation for what was about to happen next. 

_“I-I’m going to fill you up s-so much Levi. Going to breed that sexy little ass of yours as you s-scream my name over a-a-and over again.”_

Accidentally pounding his fist on the tenuous surface that separated the two men as he came, milking himself dry as his orgasm ripped through his body, Eren lowered his feet back onto the ground, the euphoria enough to have brought him to his tippy-toes. 

_“...Hah... ...Haha…”_

Shaking his head as he glanced down at the water where his cum had begun to sink, Eren let out another weak laugh, this one laced in shame as he went over in his head what he had just done.

How was he supposed to rejoin Levi without it being awkward? What if the other male knew what he did in there?

“I’m such an idiot…”

Erection mostly gone from the abrupt dropping of his mood, the brunet pissed as one was supposed to do after anything sexual, walking over to the sink to wash his hands afterwards. 

Turning the tap on with a sniff, the brunet lifted his head to the mirror, noticing then that he had started to cry.

 _“R-Really, Eren?_ Can you stop being… _you_ for once in your life?”

Slumping onto the hard ground on his knees with his head bowed below the handle of the cupboard, arms still crossed on the ledge of Levi’s sink, Eren left the water running to drown out his wrecked sobs as the raven was left with no choice but to remain where he lay. 

Eventually pulling himself together enough to wash the drool from his face, as well as scrub his hands with copious amounts of soap in hopes that it, paired with the scalding hot water, would wash his sins away, Eren returned to his side of the bed, back to the raven as he tried his _damnedest_ to curl up into a ball and disappear.

Hearing a soft rustle of a shirt being thrown from beside him as the other man was not about to let that happen, Levi being Levi rolled his own self over to tug the other male into his arms, his petite chest making full contact with Eren’s boney back as a mewl escaped his from out of his mouth.

“Shh… I’m right here. I’ve got you. Try not to think about anything right now, got it? You said you had something to show me later today… I didn’t forget what you asked me, so tell me what's troubling you when we get there, okay? In the meantime, take some deep breaths in and relax. There’s no point in worrying how things will turn out in the end when we’re still far from it.”

Feeling Eren wiggling even further backwards in the direction of strong arms even though he was silent now, Levi made sure to open them wider for him, spooning the quivering brunet as soon as he had secured the covers into place around them.

“You haven’t done anything wrong…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Sobs_  
>  The title of the chapter came from [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoc1G7XZUtU&list=LL&index=89) song.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so very much for reading! I hope you enjoyed your gift, Len. All the best to everyone else! Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!   
> -Puppy


End file.
